Title Unnecessary

My heart doesn't want to beat anymore. And to be honest, I don't think it is. I keep slipping into moments of hysteria, though I've been impressively good at getting myself out. For the most part I've just been residing in a numb filled world. Anything outside of that is too much to bear right now. I rather feel that dull ache and emptiness then the inconsolable heart-wrenching pain that will rack my entire being followed by a monsoon of sobbing and a killer headache afterward. No, I can't go there yet. Though I know at some point, I'm going to have to. Unless of course something inside him stirs and he reaches out. But I'm not betting on that.