Identity

Do you remember when I said I don't know who I am? Well this feeling keeps increasing in strength. When I get the courage to look, I don't know who the person is staring back at me in the mirror. My world is becoming so very hard to get through. Erin mentioned something tonight that hit a cord. She brings a new perspective to my life that I rarely think she realizes. It made me think all the more. As though I don't think enough as it is. This blog can go anywhere. I can discuss the Easter pageant I went to with April held by the LDS at the Mesa Temple. I can give you a compare and contrast between this time, and the time I went 8 years ago. A reflection of faith and growth. I can discuss my Lent and what the next few days mean to me. I can discuss how madly I love Christopher Michael LaVoy and how after three years when I kiss him, my heart still beats violently in my chest and aches with an overwhelming love. I can tell you about how much Erin Laura Rebello means to me and how I believe that her and I will be best friends forever, even though publicly saying that is hard to do. I can detail my emotions about school, graduation, and the looming future. In all honesty I can write about a variety of topics. But nothing is weighing more heavily on my mind like my identity.

• I am a daughter of God
• I am a Roman Catholic
• I am Chris' girlfriend
• I am Erin's best friend
• I am Marisa and Anthony's big sister
• I am a lector, an EM, an usher and a CORE member
• I am a student
• I am a cashier
• I am an owner of a baby corn snake named Mogli
• I am a friend of Jamie, and Jacob, and Kayla, and others.
• I am ____

But what do any of those things really say? How does any of that define how I live? Who am I to myself? And when you look at me, who am I to you?

I need answers.