Weakness.

I'm standing by my register at work struggling to breathe. My head is pounding in my ears. I'm no longer just mentally, but I'm physically weak. Last night I felt like a baby, needing to be close to Erin as I tried to sleep. I was so cold and my body ached. My head felt like it was being crushed. But despite every physical ailment my heart still hurt so much more. My eyes were closed but I was only falling in and out of sleep. Part of me was afraid even to open my eyes and find Erin not there. Even though I could hear her typing, hear her adjusting her sitting positions on my bed. I was scared to be alone.

I'm at work fighting to put that smile on my face. Talk without my voice quivering. But I'm struggling so very much. My hands are trembling and my legs seem like they can't hold me up anymore. Everything hurts.

I miss my sister.

I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going and for how long.