Because we severely reduced sizes when we lost our old house I was never unable to unpack more than half my things. I had a room full of stuff and I came here and got shoved into a corner. I'm moving soon and so I needed to go through the boxes and see what I still wanted to keep. I probably should have picked a weekend when my emotional supports were in town. I need Erin and Chris right now. I need reassurance, and love. This is how pathetic I am.

Pictures, notes, cards. Some of them made me smile. Actually really only the ones of Jamie. I found letters from 2005, pictures when she was only 16. I can't explain to you how much it means to me that after all these years she still loves me. I need to go see her. Some other random things were from my friends in junior high. If you want to call them that. They were extremely nice to me and the notes and letters were sweet. Too bad they stopped talking to me once I decided not to be Mormon. Oh well though. I found pictures of old boyfriends, poems one had written me. Silly little things that pulled on my heartstrings just barely enough to make me feel. No big deal there. I found school things and a journal I had to keep for my English class. So many nice comments Mr. Tolbert wrote me. But then I found a box that made me shake. How can one person damage me so much? But this time it's different because I'm projecting my fear and insecurities on what I may lose instead of dwelling necessarily on what I did lose. Right now I can't think. I feel sick and I want to cry. I'm doing my best to dump whatever I can onto this but I don't have time to organize my thoughts. So I apologize if this is hard to read. I have to get ready for work soon. Actually right now. I just looked at the clock and the time says 10:18. Really? That isn't funny. Couldn't I have looked at it a minute before or a minute after? I need to go to work..

I have deep rooted issues that I seriously need help on.

Jamie Ann Welch Jaro, I love you so very much.