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Kudos to you if you know what song is in my head based on the title. Though I'm betting only one person will know. Anyway...

My life in just a few days has gotten more real than it ever has been. If that is somehow possible. In all honesty I'm struggling so hard to regain some kind of footing. When I talked to Jamie the other day she put it perfectly. It really is as though my whole life I've been placed underneath water and each time I get to the surface I get pushed right back down. It's never ending. Right now I'm completely under water. I'm about to come up though. I can feel it. My life depends on it.

I want to say so much more but I'm building walls. I'm shutting the world out. Right now I can only handle a select few in my life. I can only talk to a few people. I don't want to answer questions, discuss details or even hear words of comfort. I just want to clear my head and get things done.

So allow me to momentarily disappear. For now, the words I need to say will be spoken, or written in private.