My Calling

Nearly a year ago I went on the Diocesan retreat and I did a talk in front of 500 teenagers. I was nervous and perhaps even a bit unprepared but I went up there anyway. It was far easier than I could have ever imagined. After the session many people came up to me and thanked me for what I had to say. Three different individuals told me I had a gift. One of those individuals was the coordinator of the entire program. I was touched and honored by it all but like most compliments I just smiled, thanked them and under my breath belittled anything I did. But let's be honest, this was the beginning of something. The first sparks to my heart catching fire.

Running a small group is easier than breathing for me. Sharing my faith is as natural as my heart beats. Loving every single teen I encounter the second I see their face is an outpouring from the Spirit. My greatest joy is nothing else than serving the Lord by serving them. The thing is, I make a difference. I don't know how but my teens come up to me and thank me for being there. More than once I've hugged a teen while they cry to me and thank me for loving them. They go to events because I'll be there. Today I was followed by a group of them everywhere I went because they just wanted to be near me and talk. I have a poster in my room that I hung up because the words on there I could never throw away. Words that my teens gave me. Affirmations that don't speak about my qualities necessarily, but speak more of the way God has graced me and made me an instrument to His plan. Because all glory goes to Him. How am I able to lead when I'm so weak? How am I able to speak confidently when as a child I was ridiculed because of a speech impediment? How am I able to believe when I was raised not knowing who God was? The answer is simply that I'm blessed. Blessed abundantly with the mercy of my Lord and the call He has given me. God set me apart and gave me this gift. This calling. I have heard Him calling me by name.

Every moment I spend at St. Anne's with the teens is a confirmation that youth ministry is where I belong. It's where my heart is and where God has gently pushed me into. There is a peace that cannot be matched that I receive when I'm around them. Even amidst the stresses of the job and the at times difficulties, I'm overwhelmed with joy.

This next coming weekend my heart breaks that I will miss a retreat that they will be going on. I haven't missed a single one. But Marisa needs me more right now and I know that God has a plan. He is sending those who need to be there. But even this ache is a confirmation. I'm incredibly amazed that a person like me could ever be called to lead teens closer to Christ. Worthy I am not. But here I am Lord, and my answer is yes.