Just Me.

I'm no good at this. It doesn't come natural to me to venture out. I flirted shamelessly, got a number, shopped at a store I've never purchased a thing from and it all just made me feel more empty inside. Erin made plans tonight so I had to fly it solo. I was tired of being in my apartment and I didn't want to be around Erin with her friend anyway. I certainly didn't want to be cooped up in my room. So I decided to use the gift card to the movies I got for my graduation. I took my seat and within minutes I was surrounded by couples. It was as though someone was trying to play some sick joke on me and it was obvious I wasn't finding it funny. I looked around the theater and I felt sick realizing I was the only one sitting alone. I almost left but I didn't want to waste a gift.

The movie I saw was Super 8. I actually didn't want to see the movie in the first place. But I didn't have much of a selection. Now you have to understand something about me, I don't get scared in movies. Okay, Paranormal Activity freaked me out. But other than that I'm fine. This movie made me uneasy. I guess it wasn't scary, it was suspenseful. And I had no one. With every passing moment that realization kept sinking deeper and deeper. I'm alone. No one to hold my hand and comfort me. No one to walk me to my truck. No one to walk to my door. No one to even come home to. I'm just alone.

As I pulled into my parking spot a song came on . I listened to it for a minute and I wanted so badly to live out the song. I broke down momentarily. But then I turned my truck off, and walked toward my apartment. There's not much to say. I have no one.

I guess I should just try and sleep now.