It's hard to eat when you're holding back tears. Thea came and picked me up for lunch today. It was wonderful to get out of the apartment. Even if it was unbearably hot outside. It was nice to be around people. To sit in a restaurant and be normal. I didn't say half the things I wanted to. Which was okay. I never really do. But I just can't stress how much it means to me to have people be around me that want to listen to me. I just need to talk. I just need to cry. I really think it all boils down to that. I don't think I'm asking for very much. But maybe I'm asking for the world. This soul crushing loneliness that consumes my very being. Oh my gosh. What do people see when they look at me? Can they see how broken I am?

I need so much comfort. I don't understand where it stopped.

What am I supposed to do?