There's a Song for This

”I want to build my life around a country song”

I am so way in over my head. It's beyond me how I can be filled with so many thoughts and emotions. Can't anything in my life be simple? ”All I wanted was a white knight with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse. Ride me off into the sunset and baby I'm forever yours”. I mean really. But instead I'm left singing ” its so complicated, so frustrated. I want to hold you close, I want to push you away, I want to make you go, I want to make you stay.” But honestly ”I've been walking in the wrong direction, I can barely recognize my own refection, oh, scared of love but scared of life alone”.

I love how you make me feel but I hate it at the same time.

Do you remember when what you and I had was....perfect? What happened? Is it my fault? Is it because I got sick? Did life get in the way and this a part of growing up, of growing apart? Is this God's reminder of nothing lasts forever? Is it this place and this decision? What? I can't change anything and I can't go back. But I just don't want to lose you.