I try not to ask for a lot. My goal in life is to make others happy. There are few things that I really need. But right now I need something. I need to be allowed to sleep.

The past few days have been horrible. Filled with so much pain and a huge fear of the unknown. If it wasn't for my angel of a best friend I don't know where I would be. She gave me a bed. She gave me food. Most importantly she gave me her love and friendship. Two things that make me feel better above all else. But let's face it, she can't always be there to save me. And as comfortable as I am with her, I can't get myself to ask any more from her. But I just wish that my family would care about me just a little bit. I wish that for one second they would stop and think about me. All I want right now is my bed to sleep in. All I want right now is to listen to my doctors and not drive. All I want right now is to be able to rest in peace. To have someone hold my hand while I cry because I hurt so much. I just want them to love me.

But I get what I get. I have the couch once again. The TV is on, my dad is snoring, and there's nothing I can do. I have to wake up at 6 and take Marisa to school and then Anthony after that. I have to write a paper and drop it off at the high school so Marisa doesn't fail English. I have to help my stepdad with a garage sale. I have to bake cookies, and a cake. And then after all of that I need to go babysit. I just don't have that kind of strength. Not right now. I'm going to end up killing myself. But how can I just stop? How can I ignore everyone's demands?

I'm all drugged up right now. But it doesn't matter. I still hurt so much. I just need a break, please.