Prepare The Way

Yesterday evening I had to get away from the madness. The commotion in my house was just too much for me. So I did the only thing I could think of. I went to church.

I sat in silence for nearly an hour. I just sat in the pew and gazed at the altar. There wasn't another soul to be seen. I was just sitting in an empty church, the main lights were off and honestly I was really cold. But my heart felt warm. I felt love, and I felt at peace. I began to sing. No one was around so I thought why not. I began in a whisper and gradually I got louder. Not too loud, mind you, but loud enough that if you were behind me you in the pew you would be able to clearly hear me. I kept repeating "Prepare the way. Prepare the way. Prepare the way of the Lord." When I got to the part of the name "Jesus" I was flooded with joy. I felt as though deep inside my heart I was making room. I was pushing past all my dark emotions and fears and making room for my Savior.

At 7pm I had lector practice. I didn't have to move from my seat but eventually the lights were turned on and I was joined by my fellow lectors who will be proclaiming the Word this weekend. As we were going through the readings and discussing them I kept thinking how really in love I am with Sacred Scripture. I am so blessed to be involved in this ministry. I am able to use my voice to proclaim the Word of God. I'm going into my sixth year of doing so and to be honest, I get enough compliments to completely inflate my ego. But all glory goes to God. As much as I appreciate the kind words people say about me, I know that it is not by my own accord that I do well. I do not go up on Sunday's and show everyone a talent that I may have. No, I allow myself to be an instrument to God's Word. I proclaim His message. I am, at that moment, His voice. The compliments are not for me. They're for the graces God has bestowed on me. I had a speech problem in kindergarten and first grade. I got made fun of so much that I secluded myself and decided speaking wasn't worth it. That shyness is still with me, and when I get really nervous I still stutter. Yet Christ called me to be a lector. Unworthy am I of His love.

My night ended in bliss. A few hours after I left the church I went over to Erin's house to stay over. Through her I was once again reminded of how blessed I am. God is too good to me.

Lord, continue to guide me. Continue to allow me to see all the good things You do for me. Continue to open my heart. I love You more than anything.

"A voice of one crying out in the desert, Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths" -Matthew 3:3