It's a little frustrating having so much to say and no real place to say it. I went to grab my little journal from my purse today and my heart sunk when I realized I left it on my desk. I was desperate so I wrote on a blank check. Hah.
I'm not sure how much I benefit others by being a part of their lives. I have no idea the impact I have on my little world and those who are in it. I tend to think my words have little meaning half the time, though I speak all the time from the bottom of my heart. Yet when I come across a situation that I can't do absolutely anything at all for I have a bit of an anxiety attack. I hate feeling useless. I hate not having a single clue as to what I could do to make everything better. I realize that so many battles aren't mine to fight. But when you love a person-no, when you love some people so much it hurts it's hard to just sit around and do nothing. But I pray. I'm praying so much.
My head is filled with too many things. I keep thinking how I really just need some down time. I need to go do something fun. I love that youth group started up again because that's my biggest enjoyment. It rejuvenates me. I love those kids so much.
I need to go work out. No just saying it. I hate that that's who I've become. Talking about things and not actually doing them. So tonight I'll go running. And the next, and the next and the next. I'll figure out some routine and stick to it. I have always been my own motivation. I keep myself accountable. But these days are different. So if you're reading this and talk to me, keep me accountable. In some way or another.
I think I need to write a book.
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