Tell Me Why

I was driving home from my parents in Erin's car and Tell Me Why came on. Naturally it being Taylor Swift I turned it up and sang obnoxiously loud with her. Within moments I began crying. The lyrical content of the song took on so many different meanings for me. Furthermore driving down the road with my favorite artist blasting made me ache for the things that I don't have and filled me with the fear that I'm trying so hard to run away from. These past few days I've felt so alone. I have to conquer so many things and overcome so many obstacles and I've been promised that I don't need to go through this alone yet here I am. No one is helping me. If anything I'm carrying the weight of others right along with me. And right now I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, why? Someone please tell me why.

Last night my ex-boyfriend came over. I was reminded at how wonderful he really is and why so much of me is still in love with him while I cried hysterically into his chest and he cradled me. When I had no one else I had to turn to him. But even the heroics of Chris last night doesn't erase everything that has occurred between us. Or how so much of that song can be sung about him.

My parents destroyed me once again today. My dad this morning, my mom throughout the day. I'm not sure what I do wrong except everything. Really.

I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground, I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down

And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around

And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?

You could write a book on how
To ruin someone's perfect day
Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around

And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around

Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?

Why do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside?
Why do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind?

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you want me then cut me down

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love then you push me around

Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why? Why? Tell me, why?

I take a step back, let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know