Erin...

So this is overdue. I told you I would write a blog professing my undying love toward you, and rarely, if not ever, do I go back on my word. Things between us aren't great, to say the least. In a failure to communicate effectively I let my emotions get the best of me. I never meant to hurt you. Perhaps worst of all, I didn't even realize it until Jacob told me. Sorry doesn't seem to be enough. It isn't enough. I failed you as a friend, and I'm at lost to how to deal with it. If I could tell you exactly how I feel right now I would. But my emotions aren't what matters. I do, however, want to make one thing clear...

We became friends rather quickly. I don't usually feel comfortable with a person that soon. But from the beginning I found myself wanting to spend more time with you. The fact that you were younger than me strangely didn't bother me. I was just drawn to you. Your smile lights up the room and the sincerity in which you speak is comforting. I knew that I wanted to be your friend.

You've been there for me more than I could possibly deserve. The simple fact that you would ever take time out of your day to drive to my house and talk to me is unheard of. Yet you didn't do it once, but on more than one occasion. I wish I could adequately explain to you how much that means to me. The countless conversations you've had with me, the advice you've given me, the things you have shared with me are invaluable times that I will always cherish. Even though we don't see eye to eye in particular matters, your opinion is something I value very much.

Your friendship has made me a better person. By just being the beautiful person that you are, you have showed me more about myself than I could ever tell you. You've been an inspiration to continue to grow in my faith, and your support gives me strength.

There's a tattoo on my wrist that not only reminds me of the message it is meant for, but it reminds me of the person who generously paid to have it there. Regardless of everything, that moment will always be shared with you.

I'm comfortable telling you anything Erin. I trust you. And if you've learned anything from me in the time that we've been friends, I hope you know how I do not say that lightly.

I love you. I would gladly give my life for you. Where we go from here, I do not know. I'm not asking you for anything. Not forgiveness, not your friendship. I have no right to ask for either of those. All I want from you is for you to understand how deeply sorry I am that I hurt you. I didn't mean to. My hope is that one day we can smile together again.
But if not, thank you for everything. From the bottom of my heart. If you ever need something, you know how to reach me.