Haunted

There's something about Taylor Swift that I just completely love. Maybe because I honest to God think we could be friends. Maybe because she's less than a month younger than me and she's more famous than I would ever want to be but has accomplished more than I could ever dream of. Or maybe because when I first heard "Tim McGraw" on the radio for the first time there was something in her lyrics that caught me. Honesty perhaps? An open book for the world to read? If I was only so brave.

My darling boyfriend bought me her newest CD yesterday, the same day it was released. He even insisted on buying me the Target Exclusive edition even though I didn't want him to spend the extra money. I hate to admit it but I'm glad for once he didn't listen to me. I love it in more ways than one. The excitement I felt about getting this CD took me back to my 10 year old self who was obsessed and overly ecstatic about anything Backstreet Boys. Sometimes I want to be 10 again.

I'm in a lot of pain right now. I feel used and lied to. My trust is shattered and my heart just wants to hide some place where I can't even find it. My favorite song on Taylor Swift's new CD is a track called "Haunted". From the very first lines my thoughts went to you. Considering the past couple days I think it was appropriate. The entire song doesn't speak about you of course. Taylor Swift writes love songs and I don't have to remind you of where I stand. But still. Some lyrics just fit perfectly and I can't stop listening to this song.

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all so quiet and I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

I've considered the idea that I'm overreacting. That I'm letting my past hurts dictate this situation too much. But I can't deny what I feel inside me. That pain can't just go away. Perhaps time will make things better. No guarantees.

I just think that from now on you should really think about the words you say before you say them. Regretting things and taking things back doesn't fly too well with me.