Anxious.

I feel extremely restless. I can't seem to sit still. My mind keeps wandering to extremely weird things. And my dreams? I've never had such vivid dreams in my life. I wake up and I remember everything. Smells, feelings, expressions, words. Nothing especially profound happens but I wake up and I can't get the thoughts out of my head. It's more like I just experienced a day filled with countless events rather than just waking up from a dream.

Going into this weekend I feel extremely anxious. I can't help myself. I feel like I need to protect someone. Station myself outside the door and hide. I just want everything to be okay. I don't want there to be any pain. But if there is. If there's a single moment where I'm needed I want to be there. I just don't think there's anything I can really do. I hate that.

I want to do something. I wish I lived closer to the mountains. I'd love to go on a hike. I want to go camping, actually. My first and only time was amazing but it seriously is one of those things that I've just been dying to do again for years.

I need a job.