Brick Walls

I am not so naive that I ever thought that while my life was falling apart everyone else's life was perfect. I didn't think of myself as the only person being in pain or going through anything. I've never thought of myself as that. As though I'm the only one losing control. But I guess I mistakenly assumed that when I asked someone how they were doing they would give me an honest answer. Especially if that someone was my friend.

I'm not sure why I made that mistake. After all, I do not trust people. I'm always looking for a reason that they're lying, or secretly harboring bad feelings for me. It isn't a quality I like about myself, but it's there. Perhaps trust wasn't an issue is this matter. Maybe I was so selfish and consumed about my little world that I missed signs. I don't know.

I've come to realize that not only do I not know myself very well, I don't know the people in my life either. That's pretty pathetic considering how few people there even are.

I used to think I was a good friend.