Scattered

I sit here at my desk avoiding my homework and letting my thoughts run away from me. I have an urge to put on my shoes and just run. I have a desire to get in my truck and drive way too fast. I have a need to do things that I believe I should keep to myself. Hm.

I want to sit with a friend and have a conversation with them for hours. About what, I don't care. I just want companionship. I want to laugh, and not think.

I rushed Chris out the door and I hated every moment of it. When he kissed me goodbye it took all my strength to get myself to let him go. I wanted him to stay. I mean, I always do. But such a big part of me needed him to. He has to be up early tomorrow though. He has a PFT and he needs to be ready for it. I couldn't allow him to see me weak or in any sort of need because he would have stayed.

I'm not sad, and I'm not mad. I don't feel stressed, or concerned about anything. I just feel.... Well, maybe that's it. I can't feel anything right now.

Huh. I turn 21 in 9 days. Weird.

What was I writing about?